Roxy's Journey: From Government Employee to Freedom-Seeking VA

The Bunso Who Became the Leader

Roxy starts by describing himself with humor: "Dati po akong diwata" (I used to be a fairy). But behind the lightness lies a heavy truth. As the youngest of four siblings, Roxy grew up with the bunso culture—that expectation that the youngest child becomes the "last man standing," the one who fixes everything when older siblings' plans don't work out.

This pressure manifested in a surprising way: Roxy worked at not one, not two, but four different government agencies. DPWH, then DSWD, then DILG, and finally DOT. His friends were baffled. "Parang nag-tour ka na sa lahat ng government agency," they'd say. Getting into government jobs is notoriously difficult in the Philippines, yet Roxy kept moving from one to another, never settling.

The Aquarius Who Couldn't Follow Rules

The turning point came during what Roxy calls his "existential crisis." He realized what was driving his restlessness: "Gusto ko na own ko yung time. Gusto ko na parang Aquarius kasi ako eh. Kaming mga Aquarius ayaw namin yung parang may pina-follow kaming rules or parang tawag dito norms. Gusto namin i-break yan."

This wasn't about being rebellious for rebellion's sake. It was about recognizing a fundamental mismatch between his nature and the rigid structures of traditional employment. He wanted freedom—not to be lazy, but to work in a way that aligned with who he actually is.

From Part-Time Struggle to VA Masters

Roxy's VA journey wasn't smooth. He started with part-time gigs earning very little. Then he found an agency where he finally reached 30,000 pesos monthly—only to have them join a pyramid scheme and close down. "Nalugi sila kaya nag-close," he explains matter-of-factly.

But this setback led to his breakthrough. A friend at VA Masters referred him for a content creator position. Despite fierce competition, he got hired—not because of connections, but because he invested in creating a strong portfolio and, as he puts it with a smile, "with the guidance of the Lord."

"Hindi ko naman talaga masabi na own ko na yung time kasi may shift din naman talaga ako pina-follow. But dito kasi mas na-experience ko yung freedom na I can work with my own pace. Wala akong tawag dito hindi ako nagho-hold back na maging creative, mag-express ng ideas ko kasi the agency is trusting me naman and they believe in my capabilities." — Roxy, From Kayod to Keyboard Episode 5

When Parents Die and You're the Last One Standing

The most emotional part of Roxy's story comes when he reveals why becoming a VA wasn't just about career—it was about survival and family duty. After both parents passed away, his three brothers already had their own families and responsibilities. As the youngest, and the only one who's gay in a family of four, Roxy found himself taking on the leadership role.

"Hindi ko kina-claim ha na ako yung main character," he clarifies, self-aware of how this might sound. But the reality is undeniable: he became the decision-maker, the one handling bills, the backup plan. "Hindi ako pwedeng mawalan. Hindi ako pwedeng tumigil," he says. Being a VA wasn't just about owning his time—it was about being financially stable enough to never let his family down.

Tata's Journey: When Your Sister's VA Success Becomes Your Inspiration

The Character in a Film

Tata laughs when Roxy describes her as "parang character ng isang film"—someone who does yoga in the morning, has band practice at night, juggles part-time and full-time VA work, and still finds time for creative projects. But this packed schedule wasn't always her reality.

Before becoming a VA, Tata worked a traditional job purely for money. "Gusto ko lang talaga kumita ng pera," she admits. The turning point came 2-3 years ago when she started learning about herself and realized she wanted to create a life where she was actually pleased and happy, not just financially secure.

The Sister Who Changed Everything

Tata's VA journey is deeply tied to her ate (older sister), who she describes with genuine admiration. When their father retired and their family's main source of income—a taxi—got carnapped, life became suddenly unstable. Tata's sister made the sacrifice: she stopped college and worked. Their mother went abroad. For 10 years, Tata's sister stayed at a corporate job that, despite her loyalty, only gave her 200 pesos in annual raises.

"It sucked," Tata says bluntly. Her sister spent a decade at a company that demanded more responsibilities but never properly compensated her dedication. When she finally quit and found a well-paying VA job, everything changed—not just her finances, but her whole quality of life.

Watching this transformation inspired Tata. It wasn't about the flexible schedule or working from home. It was seeing her sister finally have a job that treated her with respect, paid her fairly, and gave her the freedom to actually live while working.

Juggling Everything While Looking "Easy"

Tata's current reality sounds impossible to most people. She works a part-time VA job and a full-time VA job. She's the vocalist in a band with active projects. She creates music and artistry content. She does yoga regularly. She cooks for herself. And somehow, she makes it all look manageable.

Her secret? "Ako, pinipilit ko na lang kahit pagod na pagod ako minsan. Pero, kapag pagod na ako, yun na talaga, like, higa na. Kailangan kong humiga." She pushes herself until she genuinely can't anymore, then rests completely. The next day, she recovers and starts again. It's not perfect, but it's honest.

What drives this relentless schedule? Her 70-year-old mother and her sister who invested so much in her. "Everything that I do, honestly, sila lagi yung nagpu-push sa akin maging better. Binigyan nila ako ng chance eh. It's time to give back."

The Mental Health Crisis Behind the VA Dream

Living Inside Your Head

When asked about mental health, Tata gets deeply vulnerable. She admits she doesn't know if she was clinically depressed or had anxiety—she never got diagnosed. But she knows she was suffering. "Before all of those wellness practices, talagang mental creature ako. So wala akong connection sa body ko. Wala. Hindi tumitigil yung thoughts."

The voice in her head was relentless and cruel. "Lahat ng mali ko inuulit-ulit niya." Every mistake replayed endlessly. She lived in what she calls "a universe in my mind"—completely disconnected from her physical body, trapped in mental loops of self-criticism.

When You Lose Your Passion Completely

During the pandemic, Tata hit rock bottom. She quit music, her true passion. She stopped going out. She gained significant weight, reaching 80 kilos. "Wala akong kahit anong passion, direction sa buhay. Parang gumigising na lang ako kasi tao ako. Kailangan mong gumising, kumain, robot ka na lang."

This feeling is frighteningly common among young Filipino professionals, but rarely discussed openly. The pressure to be productive, to have direction, to contribute financially to family—combined with low wages and limited growth opportunities—creates a perfect storm for mental health struggles.

Even Tata's friends were frustrated with her. They all had direction and passion in their lives. "Lahat sila may direction sa buhay. Passionate. Alam mo yun? Tapos naisip ko like wala walang kahit anong nagi-inspire sa akin." When you can't feel inspiration for anything, when you wake up just because you're human and humans wake up—that's when you know something is seriously wrong.

Roxy's Different Struggle: Living in Your Head vs. Your Heart

Roxy's mental health challenge manifests differently. His friends tell him: "You live inside your head. Parang lahat ng bagay iniisip mo directly. Parang mas ginagamit mo yung brain kaysa dito." He points to his heart.

This is the classic overthinker's trap—analyzing everything, planning everything, controlling everything through logic. But as Roxy is learning, "Now I'm slowly learning how to actually feel din. To feel, to actually be in your body."

"Hindi ka pwedeng laging nasa taas at hindi ka pwedeng laging nasa baba. Kung pababa ka pa sa baba mo eh fine, at least may pataas." — Tata, on accepting the natural cycles of struggle and joy

How Meditation and Wellness Literally Saved Tata's Life

The Netflix Show That Changed Everything

Tata's healing began with a single episode of a Netflix show: Headspace's "A Guide to Meditation." That first session made her cry because, for the first time in years, her thoughts stopped. "Naiyak ako sobra kasi finally I could be in my body at that moment ng hindi importante kung sino ako, kung ano yung ginagawa ko and kung ano yung kaya kong dalhin on the table. Parang I'm just being myself."

This moment of simply existing—without judgment, without the mental narrative, without the pressure to be productive or impressive—was revolutionary. It sounds simple, but for someone trapped in endless mental loops, it was freedom.

From Depression to Wellness Advocate

Four years after that first meditation session, Tata is unrecognizable from her pandemic self. She practices yoga regularly. She meditates. She actively connects with people. She says yes to opportunities like hosting a podcast—something her old self would have immediately rejected.

"Siguro kung nakausap mo ako 4 years ago very different person ako. Hindi ako papayag dito sa podcast na to. Hindi ako mags-social media. Kakanta lang ako kasi that's my real passion. Pero I'm not as open. I'm not as connection-based na person."

This transformation is so evident that VA Masters is planning wellness sessions led by Tata. From someone who couldn't get out of bed with purpose to someone who now guides others—this is the healing journey VA work made possible, not just financially but in terms of time and mental space for self-work.

The Science Behind It: Logic vs. Embodiment

Tata explains that in wellness circles, logic is described as "knowledge"—your brain is a predicting machine. "Kunyari nakikita mong dark yung clouds, uulan. Kahit hindi naman umuulan feeling mo uulan. Tapos anong mangyayari? Matatakot ka. Ayaw mo ng lumabas."

Your brain creates entire scenarios based on predictions, not reality. You form complete narratives about things that haven't happened. This is why meditation is so powerful—it brings you back to what's actually happening right now, not what your brain predicts will happen.

"Nothing really is happening to us. And that's the beauty of meditation eh. It connects you to the present moment." When you realize that most of your suffering exists in your thoughts about the past or future, not in the actual present, it's transformative.

Why VA Life Actually Helps You Heal (Not Just Earn)

The Appreciation You Never Got in Corporate

Both Roxy and Tata emphasize one unexpected benefit of VA work: genuine appreciation. "Malaking tulong din yung parang you are being appreciated sa mga ginagawa mo," Roxy shares. "It's something kasi na hindi naman siya you're asking a validation talaga but it's something na it's a reminder that you mattered talaga."

This isn't about needing constant praise. It's about the fundamental human need to feel seen and valued for your contributions. In traditional Filipino corporate culture, this is often missing. "Sa Pilipinas talaga ang hirap sa corporate world like sa office ang hirap kayang i-please yung mga boss natin medyo demanding sila."

In contrast, VA work with international clients offers a different culture. "Sa VA world yung kahit yung boss mo yung client mo sobrang simple lang ng bagay sobrang appreciated ka and parang ipapa-feel talaga sayo na you're a diamond you're a gem dito sa industry na to parang ang hirap mong mawala."

When Your Client Values Your Health Over Deadlines

Roxy shares a powerful contrast: "For example, if feel mo hindi mo kaya today kasi masama yung pakiramdam mo para si client pa yung magsasabi na okay you can rest. Parang hindi ka na pipilitin. Parang they value your wellbeing."

Compare this to Philippine corporate culture where "kahit nag-release ka ng advisory na may bagyo go may duty pa rin." Even with orange rainfall warnings, employees are expected to show up. The message is clear: your safety and wellbeing are secondary to operations.

This difference isn't just about flexibility—it's about being treated as a human being whose health and wellbeing matter. When you experience this respect after years of being treated as replaceable, it's deeply healing.

The Freedom to Actually Be Creative

For Roxy, one of the most healing aspects is creative freedom. "Wala akong hindi ako nagho-hold back na maging creative, mag-express ng ideas ko kasi the agency is trusting me naman and they believe in my capabilities and skills."

In traditional Philippine workplaces, hierarchy and rigid processes often stifle creativity. Your ideas might be dismissed because of your position, age, or simply because "that's not how we do things." VA work, especially with Western clients, often encourages initiative and innovation.

This professional trust creates psychological safety—you can try things, fail, learn, and grow without fear of humiliation or job loss. For creative people like Roxy and Tata, this environment doesn't just make work easier; it makes work meaningful.

5 Real Strategies for Balancing Work, Family, and Mental Health

Strategy 1: Accept That "Balance" Means Different Things on Different Days

Tata is honest about her approach: "Pipilitin ko talaga. Ako, pinipilit ko na lang kahit pagod na pagod ako minsan. Pero, kapag pagod na ako, yun na talaga, like, higa na."

This isn't toxic productivity—it's realistic acknowledgment that some days you can handle everything, and some days you genuinely can't. The key is listening to your body and actually resting when it says stop, not pushing through until you break.

Strategy 2: Build Systems So You Don't Rely on Motivation

While discussing daily VA work, Roxy emphasizes: "We have these systems and processes naman. So, you just have to be consistent with your SOPs para hindi ka mawala or maloka sa mga tasks."

When you have multiple responsibilities, motivation isn't reliable. Systems—consistent routines, checklists, templates, automation—carry you through the days when you're tired or unmotivated. This applies to work, self-care, and household responsibilities.

Strategy 3: Let Go of Being "Pakikisama" When It Hurts You

Both hosts mention the Filipino cultural pressure to always say yes, to always be available, to sacrifice yourself for others. But sustainable VA work requires boundaries. If your client respects your health, you need to respect it too by actually taking sick days when needed.

This is especially hard for Filipinos who've been conditioned that being a good employee means suffering through illness. Learning to say "I need to rest today" without guilt is a skill that protects both your health and your long-term career sustainability.

Strategy 4: Connect Your Work to Your "Why"

When Roxy talks about being unable to stop or fail, it's not just work ethic—it's connected to his family. "Hindi ako pwedeng mawalan. Hindi ako pwedeng tumigil." Knowing exactly why you're working hard (aging parents, siblings who supported you, dreams for your future) sustains you through difficult periods.

Tata's packed schedule is driven by her 70-year-old mother and her sister's sacrifices. This clarity of purpose transforms work from obligation into meaningful contribution. When you remember your why, the how becomes bearable.

Strategy 5: Actually Do the Self-Care, Not Just Talk About It

Tata doesn't just recommend meditation—she actually does yoga in the morning, meditates regularly, and is planning to share these practices with other VAs. This commitment to self-care isn't selfish; it's what enables her to sustain her intense schedule.

"Kung gusto kong maging singer, I will play. I will act it out. Kasi parang doun ko na ma-manifest yung mga gusto kong mangyari." She applies this to wellness too—she doesn't just wish for balance, she actively creates it through daily practices.

💬 Honest Answers About Struggle, Rest, and Being Human

"You don't have to be strong all the time. There's always a rainbow after the storm. Trust mo lang yung self mo na kaya mo kasi hindi naman forever yung kung ano man yung na-experience mo." — Roxy, From Kayod to Keyboard Episode 5

The Deeper Truth Behind This Episode

What makes Episode 5 so powerful is that Roxy and Tata didn't present polished success stories. They shared messy, ongoing journeys. Roxy still faces pressure about relationships and life direction at 31. Tata still juggles an almost impossible schedule. But they're healing, growing, and doing it while supporting their families.

The VA life isn't perfect. It's still work, with deadlines and stress and difficult days. But the crucial difference is this: when a Filipino VA says "I'm tired," the response isn't "eh everyone is tired" or "that's just how work is." The response—both from clients and from this community—is "then rest. You're human first."

This episode is ultimately about permission. Permission to struggle. Permission to rest. Permission to prioritize mental health. Permission to choose work that supports the life you actually want instead of replacing it entirely. And most importantly, permission to be imperfect while still being worthy of success.

"Like one day it will all make sense. You are part of a bigger purpose. The reason you're here right now is for you to hear these exact words na hindi ka nag-iisa." — Tata, From Kayod to Keyboard Episode 5

📻 More Episodes You'll Love:

• Episode 1: Finding VA Clients and Platforms - Where to start your job search
• Episode 2: Social Media Management Skills - Building expertise that pays
• Episode 3: Work-Life Balance Strategies - Practical tips for juggling everything
• Episode 4: VA Q&A - Hiring process, salary, and leaving corporate jobs